A waste of my "Quarterlife"

I think it’s important to state that I am Quarterlife’s target demographic. I know exactly what these characters are feeling and going through. The only difference is that I choose to deal with my problems in a mature adult way rather than in a teen angst kind of way. Needless to say, I begrudgingly sat through the one-hour pilot of Quarterlife just so I could write a fair review for it.

Marshall Herskovitz, the producer behind the ‘90s teen angst drama My So Called Life wrote, directed and produced Quarterlife with what seems to be leftover storylines and whining scenes that Clare Danes should’ve performed. Courteney Cox look-alike Bitsie Tulloch plays the protagonist, Dylan, who is very whiny and Meredith Grey-esque. Dylan publishes her life in a video-blog called “Quarterlife.” In this blog, Dylan speaks the truth about everyone she is friends with, and yet, she can’t be honest with herself about her feelings for her friend Jed. The first blog entry sets up the basic plotline of the series. Dylan has two roommates: Lisa is a blond wannabe actress who uses sex as a confidence booster and Debra is a bookish brunette who is dating the boyish Danny. Danny lives across the street with his best friend and business partner Jed (Dylan’s crush) who is hopelessly in love with Debra. Get it? It’s a love rectangle with one extra cast member who runs around town having sex with strangers and singing emotionally charged karaoke songs at the bar she works at. It’s like Friends meets Coyote Ugly, only not entertaining, funny or musically appealing.

Forgetting the predictable plotline, the performances by the actors are, to quote Jed, “medium okay” at best. Tulloch is even more annoying and whiny than Ellen Pompeo on Grey’s Anatomy or Jennifer Aniston on Friends. Michelle Lombardo (Debra) gives a lackluster, forgettable and unconvincing performance. It’s really hard to believe that two men are in love with her, which can also be attributed to the writing. It’s painful to watch the lines come out of Lombardo’s mouth. I feel as if the original actress for the role of Debra had to drop out last minute, so Lombardo took her place without ever practicing the lines or figuring out a personality for the character. Maite Schwartz and David Walton, who play Lisa and Danny, are just as dull as Lombardo. The only silver lining to this show is Scott M. Foster who plays Jed. Foster is well known for ABC Family’s surprise hit Greek. Foster gives the most convincing performance of a lovable and emotionally torn character who can’t get the one woman he loves. However, even Foster’s newfound fame cannot save this show.

The other troubling aspect of the show is the direction, cameras and lighting. It is dimly lit and almost gritty looking—something most soap operas steer clear of. One explanation for the poor lighting and shaky camera exposure is that Quarterlife was originally supposed to be a web-only broadcast; however, NBC decided to go ahead and air it. NBC should’ve reconsidered this decision because the lighting and camera effects make it almost unbearable to watch. The show just looks like a bunch of wannabe actors filming themselves in hopes of winning amateur night at their local film festival only to lose out because they lack a crucial element to the entertainment industry: talent. This technologically challenged show looks more suitable for MTV than NBC.

There isn’t anything remotely interesting about this show. This is surprising because even the worst dramas out there have a killer soundtrack or a fashionable wardrobe so that maybe the audience can forget about the abysmal writing. Quarterlife doesn’t even have those things.

The message of the show seems to be that twenty-somethings are even whinier than teens—something that will seem highly offensive and derogatory to its target audience.

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Verbal Smackdown 2008: Piers vs. Omarosa

It was to be the showdown of the century. Every episode led up to this one moment: the battle between the cocky, British tabloid editor Piers Morgan and backstabbing, former Apprentice contestant Omarosa.

The Apprentice has seen four years of challenges, disputes and “You’re fired’s.” Now in its seventh season The Donald upped the ante with 14 headstrong celebrities left to duke it out in order to win money for charity.

In episode 10, teams Hydra and Empresario compete to sell the most art for the most money at the prestigious Moti Hasson Gallery in New York City. With Piers (Hydra) and Omarosa (Empresario) as team project managers, the battle between these two is on. Their volatile personalities and dislike for the way each other deals with people has caused a vicious rivalry between them since day one and has resulted in several verbal squabbles. The two are ready to go head-to-head.

It was impossible to envision what this episode would have in store. Sure there would be arguing and name-calling but to what extent? As the teams planned their strategies, both Piers and Omarosa remained in their respective corners; however, Omarosa seemed a bit more concerned with what Piers was doing than trying to come up with a strategy of her own. Being one of the more important challenges of the season, Omarosa definitely needed to focus on her game-plan so as to not land in Trump’s hot seat.

As the teams set up their art galleries, it seemed as if a heated altercation would arise as actor Stephen Baldwin of team Empresario began snooping on team Hydra, but nothing exciting came of it. Very disappointing. At the 20-minute mark this episode was looking to be a dud. Then the buyers came. Surprisingly, Empresario sold the most art initially. Omarosa obviously looked excited as Piers began to sweat. But their good luck faded fast as patrons quickly turned to team Hydra’s art. The customers bought plenty and team Empresario didn’t sell another piece. Supermodel Carol Alt of team Hydra even stole a few of Empresario’s customers. Piers knew victory was his.

In the board room, Trump said that Hydra creamed Empresario in the “biggest slaughter” in Apprentice history. Hydra sold 14 of 20 paintings for $164,000 while Empresario only sold three of 13 paintings generating $7,000. This was indeed a “personal win” for Piers. In the final 10-15 minutes, Piers kisses a cowboy while Omarosa calls Piers a “homosexual” and characteristically throws her team under the bus (something she is quite famous for). In the end, Omarosa lost because of poor planning and a consistent losing streak. Even though Trump said he’s a big Omarosa fan, it was time. Finally, after 10 episodes Trump fired Omarosa.

Secretly, we all wanted her fired. Everyone was just waiting for the day and it was certainly an “edge of your seat” moment. But it was almost bittersweet. Sure it was priceless to finally see her get the axe, but no longer would Apprentice fans witness Piers and Omarosa’s sensational antics. Omarosa thought she had it in the bag. She thought that if she blamed her teammates, and did a little name-calling, she could saver herself as she often did. Not this time. At some point, the childish backstabbing had to stop and Trump realized she was just not worthy any more.

As a whole, the episode lacked in the intense drama it was expected to have. There weren’t nearly as many low blows throughout the entire episode as the previews lead on. However the boardroom more than made up for it. No one could have predicted Omarosa calling Piers a homosexual. She really must have been running out of ammo.

The rivalry between Piers and Omarosa had been stewing all season. Whether you were rooting for Omarosa or Piers, it was obvious that Trump made the right decision in firing Omarosa. She is notorious for finagling her way out of situations and putting the blame on others. That’s why viewers love to hate her. We desperately want to see her get fired, but at the same time we want to keep her on the show to see what ridiculousness she will come up with next. Read more!